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Hillary And Bernie Have Big Fight Over Who’s Most Gayest For Obama
Oh hey Wonkers, did you watch Thursday night’s Big Exciting Democratic Debate? Well see ya wouldn’t wanna be ya if you didn’t! It was more of the same we’ve come to expect from those two crazy kids, Hillary Clinton and Bernie
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New York Saturday Afternoon! Drink Czech Beers With Us At Bohemian Beer Hall!
Allo allo allo! New York City we are in you, and Manhattan can go fuck itself! Meet us and the Official Wonkette Baby (star of stage and screen) at Bohemian Beer Garden in Astoria, Queens, Saturday let us say from 3:30 to 7! Since it is a beer hall, will
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Real Heroine of Twilight Princess HD Revealed
Twilight Princess HD is just around the corner and instead of releasing new information, Nintendo of Japan hosted a twitter poll asking fans who they thought was the Heroine of Twilight Princess HD.
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Michigan Lawmakers Tried To Solve Flint Water Crisis By Banning Buttsex
You might not think of Michigan as being in the running for finding the gays the ickiest, but it’s right up there with somewhere like West Virginia or Oklahoma or Kentucky. Thinking about the gays just makes the Michigan state Senate want to ge
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Remarkable Ways To Reuse Old Chairs
The chair has its life span, and as time passes they may break or simply become old that cannot be used anymore.
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Link Explores Zora's Frozen Domain Rendered in Unreal Engine 4
Yet another Zelda-themed Unreal Engine 4 project has been released by the very talented CryZENx. This time, the icy cavern known as Zora's Domain takes the spotlight, with Link braving the slippery surface for us to show off the graphic quality.
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Time For Hillary And Bernie To Call Each Other Big Hairy Dumb Stupidheads Again!
Oh look it’s time to do another Democratic debate because might as well. The New Hampshire primary is over, and now Hillary and Bernie are heading to Nevada and then South Carolina, and who’s winning? DEMOCRACY IS WINNING. As usual, you have q
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Tennessee Poors Refuse To Be Drug-Addicted Welfare Queens, Unfair!
If you are a Republican lawmaker in these US-es of America, you are absolutely certain that somewhere, a bunch of people are lazying around on their fat asses using their free Obamaphones to order ‘spensive lobster from Amazon Prime, and t
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15 Best Gaming Accessories Under $50
Gaming isn't a cheap hobby, but it's great when you can find quality products for cheap.
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Cliven Bundy Arrested, Remaining Oregon Militia Jackwagons To Surrender
Big news from the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon Wednesday night. While most of the armed militia squatters are already rotting in jail as political prisoners, the FBI decided it was sick of waiting for the remaining four to surrender alr
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Cleveland To Tamir Rice: Being Dead Is No Excuse For Being A Deadbeat
Look, being shot to death by police doesn’t get you off the hook when it comes to paying your medical bills. At least according to the City of Cleveland, which filed a notice with the probate court Wednesday, demanding that the estate of Tamir Rice,
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Mario Kart Flash Mob Turned a Mall Into a Race Track
Mario Kart is a blast on Nintendo consoles, but it looks even better in real life. The team at YouTube channel Base37 recently decided it would be fun to dress up as Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Wario, Yoshi, and Donkey Kong to bring Mario Kart to life...
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On Our Inevitable Disappointment With Bernie Sanders
This is not an endorsement of Hillary Clinton. While there is much I could say about her candidacy, her qualifications, or how I loathe seeing ostensibly-progressive Democrats joyously and uncritically repeating a quarter-century’s worth of slimy ri
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Creative Crafts You Can Make Out Of Plastic Straws
The number of possible recycling projects is probably a limitless one, since there are so many different materials you can reuse.
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Zelda Maker Now Called Legend Maker
Shortly after Super Mario Maker released there was some instant fan demand for a Zelda Maker. Nintendo pretty much shot the entire idea down based solely on the fact that Super Mario Maker was so difficult to actually create.
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Here Is Your Bernie Sanders New Hampshire Victory-Palooza Speech, For You To Fap To
Big news out of New Hampshire, like they rarely say! With 92 percent (and updating!) of precincts reporting, Bernie Sanders beat Hillary Clinton in the New Hampshire primary by a 60-38 margin to become America’s first Jewish president of the New Ham
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The Science of Loving Our Dogs
In commemoration of Valentine's Day, I'm investigating the nature of affection and how human interaction benefits the health of both owner and animal companion.
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Valentine's Day Treats for Your Cat
So you've got a feline valentine. Far superior to the human variety in many ways, we say.
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Turn Up! Missy Elliott Throws A 'Pep Rally'
Before the Super Bowl yesterday (Feb. 8), Missy Elliott held a "Pep Rally" on Saturday in the form of a new, energy-filled song.
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Should Open World Be the Direction of All Future Zelda Games?
This is a bit of a premature discussion point, but the ideology behind it is certainly something worth talking about. The Zelda series started out as one of the defining series for what open world really is. The Legend of Zelda (NES) offered complete and
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New Hampshire Really, REALLY Loves That Racist Jerkhole Donald Trump
Donald Trump finally redeemed himself after his humiliating weak-baby L-O-S-E-R loser defeat in corn mazes of Iowa last week, by winning the holy OMG hot dayum bejesus out of the New Hampshire primary Tuesday night. He whoop-assed the eleventeen othe
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What You Need to Know: Zika Virus and Travel Refunds
The Zika virus is a serious matter and I wrote this tip back on January 19: Why Pregnant Women Should Consider Postponing Travel to Latin America and the Caribbean.
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Wii U and Nintendo 3DS Patch Tweaks Zelda Characters
The final wave of downloadable content for this generation's Super Smash Bros. title is now available, which adds Bayonetta and Corrin to the roster. The patch to bring them in also included some tweaks for a few Zelda fighters, which we will list below.
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Rihanna Takes Us Behind the Scenes of Bringing 'Work' To Life
If you were wondering how Rihanna came up with her new Top 10 hit, "Work," you're in luck!
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Wonkette Babby Wins All-Important New Hampshire ‘Morning Joe’ Primary
ALL HAIL WONKETTE BABY! You already know that, because you “all hail” her all the time. But if you were doing your normal routine Tuesday, which is obsessively staring at the respective Twitter feeds of Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski, jus
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Kimishima: Large-Scale 3DS Games Coming Soon
During Nintendo's financial results briefing last week, company president Tatsumi Kimishima responded to a number of questions regarding the future of Nintendo systems. His responses reflected a positive outlook for the future of the 3DS, as he is anticip
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Why is Ciara Suing Her Ex For $15 Million
theJasmineBRAND.com exclusively reports, Ciara is livid with her ex-fiance & baby daddy Future for spreading lies about her being a bad mother to the public and she has slapped him with a lawsuit.
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Secret Emails Reveal The War Between Future and Ciara
theJasmineBRAND.com exclusively reports, Ciara and Future have been involved in a nasty battle behind the scenes for months.
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Zelda U and Twilight Princess HD Are Listed on Famitsu's Most Wanted
As you may know, Famitsu's most wanted list has contained two Zelda-related games for a while now: Zelda U and Hyrule Warriors Legends. Now Legends has launched in Japan, so naturally it has to be taken off the list. Another Zelda title has replaced it ho
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Ideologies in Zelda Games Are "Kind of Scary"
Today we noticed some interesting comments from the series' producer, Eiji Aonuma, in a previous interview with GamesMaster. Aonuma talks about hearing fan feedback on how the latest in-development Zelda title is shaping up. He also talks about the fact t
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Nintendo Updates Zelda's Official Timeline to Fit New Games
Ever since Hyrule Historia lifted the veil on the official Zelda timeline back in 2011, fans have had a firm grasp on how the series' story has progressed chronologically from game to game. But with a few games added to the series since then, we were due
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Think Twice About Trips in Late March
My friend and #TravelSkills chat co-host Chris McGinnis recently ran a post about why you should, "If possible, avoid traveling during the last two weeks of March this year."