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Grifty Marco Rubio Got $69K To Teach Two Whole College Classes Once In A While
Given that in Sarah Palin, the GOP has a person who is the all-time undisputed world heavyweight champion of grifting, we tend to overlook that some of the rest of them are also absolutely spot on in their abilities to get people to give them money for fu
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What Should Tennessee Do About Kid Who Shot Girl Over A Puppy? How About ‘Day-Drink’?
You might have thought last October’s story about the 11-year-old Tennessee boy who murdered an 8-year-old neighbor because she wouldn’t show him a puppy was one of the bleakest things Yr Wonkette wrote about in 2015, and it was. And now that
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Rust Bucket is Your Daily Dose of Turn-Based Dungeoneering
Turm based dungeons filled with traps and monsters, yum yum!
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Mean Tinder App Won’t Let Everybody #FeelTheBern, In Their Pants
OH GOLLY GEE HIP HOORAY, we think we found a story about the Democratic primary that will NOT make anybody weep and wail and gnash their teeths and beat their breasteses and helicopter their peeners in anger all over internet comments sections! It seems t
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Why Using a Matchmaker is Better Than Dating on Your Own
It's no secret that relationships are not always easy. In some cases, going to a professional matchmaker might be better than dating on your own.
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10 Signs You're an Awesome Girlfriend
A good percentage of the male population has been known to make a few mistakes when they finally find the right girl.
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Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Buys Wife Unleaded Birthday Cake Fit For Marie Antoinette
So let’s say you’re the governor of a state where a city of 100,000 souls has been in the news because you poisoned the water, and where roughly 9,000 children have been exposed to lead, a neurotoxin for which there is no safe level at all. Le
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Mother 3 is Finally Going to be Released in the West
We've heard rumblings about Mother 3 finally getting a Western release ever since Iwata unveiled the original Earthbound for Wii U virtual console a few years ago. Now it's looking more and more likely that we'll finally see this elusive Japanese game mad
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Twilight Princess HD Recap of all the New Features
Earlier today, Nintendo launched the official Japanese Twilight Princess HD website, offering a ton of new details on the game including GamePad functionality and Hero Mode. We did our absolute best to collect all this exciting content in one place -- we
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Hillary Clinton And Ted Cruz Go To The Olive Garden With Satan. Your Weekly Top...
Guten Morgen, Wonkers, WTF does that headline even mean? Did Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz actually have a caucus with Satan at the Olive Garden and that’s how she winned all those coin flips in the Iowa caucuses? Ted Cruz was just there because he l
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Celebs Who Had Babies at a Young Age
We can sometimes forget that famous people are just like us; and to quote the old saying, "they put their pants on just like everyone else, one leg at a time."
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The Last Of Us Remastered Secrets Revealed
Unlockables, cheats, hints and more!
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Is it Time for LEGO Zelda?
You've likely seen us push some LEGO creation projects before around here. A lot of staff here are huge LEGO fans and while we understand they can't actually make any of these suggestions because they don't have a license agreement with Nintendo, the goal
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Punchy-Faced Drug Man Martin Shkreli Too Awesome To Talk To Losers In Congress
So you might have noticed that professional douchebag/hip-hop enthusiast Martin Shkreli was all over your Internet this morning being even more of a preening little twerp than normal. Why was this? Because there was a Congressional hearing that surprising
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Brian McKnight Is Back and Better Than Ever
You know the Valentine's Day cliché: put on some Brian McKnight to set the mood. The crooner is back with a video for his brand new single "Better," another romantic ballad for the lover in you.
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The Twilight Princess Manga Released
As has been previously announced, a manga adaption for Twilight Princess will be releasing this year. Akira Himekawa's Facebook page has recently revealed the starting date of the manga, and where it will be available.
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Twilight Princess HD Supports Pro Controller
There are a few extra details from the official Japanese website for Twilight Princess HD we missed out on earlier today. One of the biggest details of interest to many Wii U owners is that the Wii U Pro Controller is fully supported.
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Planned Parenthood Video Dude Really Excited About Going To Prison, We Guess
At the end of January, we all giggled together about how LOL, David Daleiden of the Center For Medical Progress, the guy who made those fake videos that supposedly show Planned Parenthood selling grande WRITHING BABY PARTS smoothies (with whipped cream on
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Zendaya and Chris Brown Are Bringing TLC Back
With a new, edgy haircut, Zendaya is stepping into her own artistry with new music.
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The First Rule Of Hillary And Bernie Fight Club Is MOMMY AND DADDY, STOP FIGHTING!
Thursday night’s Democratic debate was fun! As usual, it featured grown-ups saying brain thoughts to each other, as opposed to the poo-flinging zoo creatures on the crowded GOP debate stage. But this time the grown-ups’ faces got all red and t
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First 24 Minutes of Twilight Princess HD Leaked
Polygon has a treat in store for Zelda fans — they've uploaded the first 24 minutes of Twilight Princess HD for all to enjoy. In this 24 minutes, Polygon manages to get Epona, explore Ordon Village, and rescue Sera's cat.
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Donald Trump Thinks Gays Are Just Terrific, Unless He Doesn’t. Who Even Knows?
Raise your hand if you think Donald Trump believes even half of the stuff that comes out of his mouth. Now if your hand is raised, use it to slap yourself in the face and ask yourself why you are hitting yourself, because you are WRONG. Case in point: Tru
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Swap Pricey Ingredients With These Cheap Dupes
Did you know? You can swap out pricier ingredients when making your favorite recipes at home.
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Iman Spotted For The First Time Since Bowie's Death
Iman was photographed in New York on Tuesday, walking her dog.
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Nintendo Teases New Features of Twilight Princess HD
Today, Nintendo uploaded a new trailer for the upcoming Zelda remake, Twilight Princess HD. Clocking in at 1 minute and 36 seconds, this video shows off the mysterious plot elements of the game, as well as some of the new features it shows off. These incl
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Would You Read Kate Hudson's Book?
Gwyneth did it. Cameron did it. So, naturally, it's Kate Hudson's turn.
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What's Your Favorite Dungeon in The Adventure of Link?
It's no secret that Zelda II: The Adventure of Link is one of the most ignored games in the series. It's departure from the formula of the original NES Zelda title threw fans for a loop who were expected a masterful sequel. I am in the minority that appre
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Let’s Watch Hillary And Bernie Scrap Like Jilted Lovers. Your Democratic Debate Preview
Good morning, Wonkers! Did you watch the super exciting whoa-gazi jam session CNN did with the Democratic candidates last night? Did it send a thrill up your leg and leave a wet spot on your Down Theres? No? OK, well, that’s because town halls are s
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The Cutest Celebrity Couples in Young Hollywood
There's nothing like young love - and the celebrity couples in young Hollywood do it best!
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This George and Amal Story Will Make You Swoon
George Clooney broadcast his Venice wedding to Amal Clooney in Vanity Fair, PEOPLE, Hello!
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Will Johnny Depp Win a Grammy?
Johnny Depp was not nominated for an Oscar. You think Amber Heard was more disappointed than he was?
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Maine Republican Takes Bold Stand Against Free Lobster For ISIS Terror Bombers
When you are a Republican from Maine, you have to work HARD to come up with new ways to be a dick. Sociopath Gov. Paul LePage’s SPECIALTY, the thing that gives him morning wood, is taking food stamps away from poor people. One time he want