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How Many Times Can Six Republicans Say ‘Scalia’ In Two Hours? Your Debate Open Thread
So now we guess it is the Republicans having a debate every blasted Saturday when decent people just want to watch anything else? After the Great Winnowing of the New Hampshire primaries, the six remaining GOP candidates for president — five, if you
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Whole Foods’ Gamble: Will In-Store Tattoo Parlors Attract Enough Insufferable Millennials?
Another week and another chance to celebrate the accomplishments and examine the needless suffering of our favorite Corporate Persons. Thanks for fighting our stupid wars, millennials. Here’s another tattoo parlor Are you interested in a tattoo like
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Twilight Princess HD Shows Off Improved Visuals and New Features
Following months of rumors, Nintendo finally announced that they would be re-releasing The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess in HD on Wii U. The game features improved visuals and load times, but it's also got some new features, mostly thanks to the Wii
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Fox News Invades PBS Debate, Begs Democrats To Drown Big Government In Bathtub
In between desperately begging for money and plugging its report on the ancient art of Albanian Weevil Calligraphy, PBS took some time out of its busy debate schedule Thursday night to ask both candidates the question Democratic primary vot
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Connor Franta Was Given This Huge Grammy Honor
Connor Franta was recently given an invitation to join The Recording Academy - the organization that selects the Grammy Award winners.
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Will These Celeb Couples Stay Together?
Join me as I look into the crystal ball of relationships and love. Below, I predict the future of three new celebrity couples.
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Fear And Loving In New Hampshire: Your Wonkebago Primary Wrap-Up!
It was supposed to be eight hours from our Pennsylvania rest stop to Nashua, New Hampshire. But 13 hours later, we were still driving, looping around looking for a freeway that wouldn’t lop the top off our Wonkebago. We had planned … poorly,
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Should 2D Zelda Games Get a 3D Remake?
It was always my dream as a kid to see Kolohint island in 3D. While there are various fan efforts at this, reality is that they typically are nothing compared to the real deal. Of course today's debate isn't just about revisiting Link's Awakening - rather
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New World Record Set for Four Swords Adventures
It's been a long time since I last fired up Four Swords Adventures, but that doesn't mean there aren't many out there still cracking away at the title. This time around ZMaster91 has set a new Any% world record, clocking in at 2:07:03. The run has been ve
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Ted Cruz Campaign Casts Softcore Porn Performer In Ad, Then Yanks It
Ted Cruz’s campaign accidentally went and hired a softcore porn performer for a recent ad touting his super-conservative values, even though the actress, Amy Lindsay, describes herself as a conservative Christian and a Republican. After it became aw
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Is Valentine's Day Bad For Your Relationship?
We were at an airport recently, waiting in the gate area for our flight to board when an incident inspiring relationship advice presented itself to us.
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Kris Jenner Gives Her Best Dating Advice
Kris Jenner was all about giving some important dating advice on Elle.com recently, according to UsMagazine.com.
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Jeb Bush So Proud Of How His Florida Boys Did Abu Ghraib
BREAKING NEWS, Jeb Bush opened his mouth and his dick came out and then he stepped on it: “I was commander-in-chief of the National Guard. I visited Iraq and Afghanistan. The National Guard in Florida took the responsibility of running Abu Ghraib pr
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The Ganondorf amiibo Does Stack with Hero Mode in Twilight Princess HD for 4x the...
We've certainly had a lot to cover in regards to Twilight Princess HD, which makes sense given the game is releasing in less than a month. One aspect that was extremely intriguing for those who like a challenge is the double damage mechanic offered by the
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IGN Shares Experiences Both Good and Bad for Twilight Princess HD
As noted earlier, IGN has had a chance to play quite a bit of Twilight Princess HD. They sat down to talk about that experience in their weekly Nintendo podcast. Jose Otero specifically was the one who got to play it and they go to great lengths to ease p
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For His Next Trick, Ted Cruz Will Ruin ‘Office Space’ And Geto Boys Forever
The Ted Cruz campaign dropped yet another of its efforts to coopt and taint all of American popular culture Friday, this time with an anti-Hillary Clinton ad ripping off a scene from Mike Judge’s Office Space, even accompanied by a parody of Geto Bo
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How to Make This Valentine's Day Special for Your Loved One
In 1653, a Mughal emperor shared with the world a token of his tragic yet enduring love for his favorite wife Muntaz Mahal, who died during childbirth.
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Bundys, Beyoncé And Rick Snyder’s Wife’s Birthday Cake. Your Weekly Top Ten.
Well hi there and good Saturday morning to you, Wonkers! Many newses happened this week, so it’s good that you’re here for us to catch up together! Haha just kidding, we are not together, because WE WROTE THESE DAMN STORIES, we don’t nee
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All Four 3DS Zelda Titles Crack IGN's Top 25 Games List
IGN recently updated their overall top 25 3DS games list and it now includes not only Ocarina of Time 3D, Majora's Mask 3D, and A Link Between Worlds (3 titles that were previously on the list), but it now includes Tri Force Heroes. Given the overall impr
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Happy Birthday Jeb! Bush, Don’t Set Yourself On Fire With Those Candles
John Ellis J.E.B. Jeb Bush was squirted out of his mama’s beautiful mind on this day, but in the last century, some 63 or so years ago, somewhere in the middle of a Texas oil field, probably. While his parents, Bar and Poppy, had hoped he&rsquo
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Ted Cruz’s Wife Libels God, Says He Looks Like Ted Cruz
Ted Cruz has one of the creepiest faces of any human ever to anchor baby hisself into America. It’s that special combination of how he doesn’t know how to genuinely smile — he constantly sports the expression of a person w
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Fan Has Created a Lineup of Custom Undertale Amiibo
One of the biggest indie sensations of 2015 was Toby Fox's fairy tale-esque RPG Undertale. Undertale is praised for its memorable soundtrack, its morality system and alternate endings, its creativity, and of course, its lovable characters. Undertale isn't
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Hillary And Bernie Have Big Fight Over Who’s Most Gayest For Obama
Oh hey Wonkers, did you watch Thursday night’s Big Exciting Democratic Debate? Well see ya wouldn’t wanna be ya if you didn’t! It was more of the same we’ve come to expect from those two crazy kids, Hillary Clinton and Bernie
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New York Saturday Afternoon! Drink Czech Beers With Us At Bohemian Beer Hall!
Allo allo allo! New York City we are in you, and Manhattan can go fuck itself! Meet us and the Official Wonkette Baby (star of stage and screen) at Bohemian Beer Garden in Astoria, Queens, Saturday let us say from 3:30 to 7! Since it is a beer hall, will
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Real Heroine of Twilight Princess HD Revealed
Twilight Princess HD is just around the corner and instead of releasing new information, Nintendo of Japan hosted a twitter poll asking fans who they thought was the Heroine of Twilight Princess HD.
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Michigan Lawmakers Tried To Solve Flint Water Crisis By Banning Buttsex
You might not think of Michigan as being in the running for finding the gays the ickiest, but it’s right up there with somewhere like West Virginia or Oklahoma or Kentucky. Thinking about the gays just makes the Michigan state Senate want to ge
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Remarkable Ways To Reuse Old Chairs
The chair has its life span, and as time passes they may break or simply become old that cannot be used anymore.
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Link Explores Zora's Frozen Domain Rendered in Unreal Engine 4
Yet another Zelda-themed Unreal Engine 4 project has been released by the very talented CryZENx. This time, the icy cavern known as Zora's Domain takes the spotlight, with Link braving the slippery surface for us to show off the graphic quality.
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Time For Hillary And Bernie To Call Each Other Big Hairy Dumb Stupidheads Again!
Oh look it’s time to do another Democratic debate because might as well. The New Hampshire primary is over, and now Hillary and Bernie are heading to Nevada and then South Carolina, and who’s winning? DEMOCRACY IS WINNING. As usual, you have q
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Tennessee Poors Refuse To Be Drug-Addicted Welfare Queens, Unfair!
If you are a Republican lawmaker in these US-es of America, you are absolutely certain that somewhere, a bunch of people are lazying around on their fat asses using their free Obamaphones to order ‘spensive lobster from Amazon Prime, and t
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15 Best Gaming Accessories Under $50
Gaming isn't a cheap hobby, but it's great when you can find quality products for cheap.
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Cliven Bundy Arrested, Remaining Oregon Militia Jackwagons To Surrender
Big news from the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon Wednesday night. While most of the armed militia squatters are already rotting in jail as political prisoners, the FBI decided it was sick of waiting for the remaining four to surrender alr